"I am not the leaf blowing in the wind, I am the wind blowing the leaves."

I've come to appreciate Shavasana for more than simply a rest at the end of a yoga practice.

It's more than simply lying on my back with my arms and legs extended, exhaling the breath from my lungs and letting go of the physical stress of the practice and the day.

It's an opportunity to not only calm, but focus my mind.

I found focus quite difficult to achieve today. It's been a number of days since my last class - a little over a week, actually. I missed it, but accepted it as a result of the Christmas break.

I'm tired, I've lost weight (about ten pounds since the end of August)and coming around to the realization that this year to come is going to bring with it a great deal of energy and excitement, but will also require a lot from me to make it happen. Yoga, I assert, will help to keep me healthy, active and focused. I also must focus on my diet and my rest.

For many, many years I simply used my body to get around. I didn't really pay it any mind; never really paid it back for all the work I put it through. In amongst the wishing that I'd taken up yoga years ago, I have this sense that perhaps I needed to reach a certain level of emotional and physical maturity to take it on.

I come back to profound words,

"Don't worry about the future, forget about the past; we're gonna have a ball, we're gonna have a blast - gonna make it last."

I used to reflect, a lot, on the good times of the past. Three years ago I made the observation that I wasn't moving forward, simply existing. It was boring, to be honest, but not knowing how to go about making a change, it was truly quite difficult to initiate forward motion.

Making a shift toward not worrying about the future and forgetting the past has been difficult. Yoga has helped. It seemed silly to me at first to talk about bringing my mind to the present moment, but once I learned (feebly, I might add) to do it, it put a whole new perspective on where I focus my energy.

I used to give my all to 'work' and 'making a living' and 'worrying about money'.

I wasn't happy, or very rarely was I happy.

I've experienced a joy that is sometimes beyond words because I now know what it's like to give TO myself, not only OF myself.

I've learned that you cannot give that which you do not have.

The "...gonna make it last" part is my next challenge.

I want to grow old. I want to grow old and healthy. I don't want to BE old, particularly before my time.

I may not make it past today, who knows? But chances are I will. I want to stand up with pride and say,

"Look what I have: isn't it beautiful!"

So, to quote myself, I'm going to "turn it into something you love"

Today's blog title was spoken to us in class today; another reason I'm thankful for Shavasana.

Namaste.